Sundown, Inc: Baby Sham Faery Love Read online

  Sundown, Inc: Baby Sham Faery Love

  Cat Marsters

  All rights reserved.

  Copyright ©2006 Cat Marsters

  No part of this e-book may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission from Changeling Press LLC.

  ISBN (10) 1-59596-407-X

  ISBN (13) 978-1-59596-407-6

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  Changeling Press LLC

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  www.ChangelingPress.com

  Editor: Sheri Ross Fogarty

  Cover Artist: Bryan Keller

  This e-book file contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language which some may find offensive and which is not appropriate for a young audience. Changeling Press E-Books are for sale to adults, only, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

  Chapter One

  “I feel stupid,” I said, prostrate on the couch with my head on a pillow.

  “Well, you look divine. Now, open up.”

  I giggled. I couldn’t help it. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was fully clothed and I knew Tadgh was as bent as a nine bob note, I’d have thought he meant something else.

  But for once in my life, the man asking me to open up was interested in my soul. Tadgh was a psychiatrist, a good one, whose clients were mostly women who were desperate for him to fall madly in love with them. Since Tadgh had been sleeping with the same guy since I met him, this seemed unlikely; but the girls could still stare at his massive shoulders and big dark eyes as they poured their souls out.

  He was leaning against his desk, big and handsome in jeans and button-down shirt, watching me patiently. I crossed my ankles and admired my pretty mocha-and-cream polka-dot Choos while I thought about what to say.

  “Come on, Tadgh, you know what it is,” I sighed. “I’ve been bitching about it to you and Ell for years.”

  “Put it in words for me. What’s the biggest reason you’re unhappy?”

  “I’m… invisible,” I said.

  “Define that for me.”

  “I… no one remembers me. I do all this stuff for them and make them all happy, then poof! I’m gone, and they have no idea I ever existed.”

  “So you want credit for what you’re doing?”

  “Well, no,” I said, frowning. “Okay, yes. Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know what you want?”

  “Er. No.”

  “That’s okay. Defining the problem is a big step.”

  I giggled again. “Is this you in shrink mode?”

  “I have never shrunk in my life,” Tadgh said mildly, and I thought about that image for a while and suppressed a shiver.

  It occurred to me some time ago that I have a huge crush on Tadgh; but that’s okay, it’s a safe crush. Like I said, he’s gay, so it’s not like it could go anywhere. I can love Tadgh and he can love me, and neither of us are going to get our hearts broken.

  As if reading my mind, Tadgh said, “Have you ever thought that maybe the reason you’re unhappy is that you’re too safe?”

  “What?”

  “Safe,” he said. “You work with all these couples --”

  “Not just couples,” I said, “I’ve done my share of ménages.”

  There was an infinitesimal pause. “Right,” Tadgh said calmly, “but you never get emotionally involved.”

  “Well, no,” I said, “it’d be pointless. See above, regarding them forgetting me the instant it’s over.”

  “So you get sex without emotional involvement,” he said.

  “Works for most men,” I grumbled.

  “And then, with Ell and me, you get the safety and security of not one but two men adoring you, but none of the risk of a love affair.” He cocked his head. “I don’t think you’ve been on a date since I’ve known you.”

  “I spend all my time having sex with strangers,” I said. “How’d that look, if my boyfriend came around and found me at it on the floor with two girls wearing dildos?”

  “I’d imagine he’d be overjoyed,” Tadgh said.

  I scowled. It’s not what you think -- well, it’s mostly not. I’m a sex fairy. Have been all my life, and please don’t ask the hows and whys, because I’m not entirely sure myself. I bring sexual fulfillment to couples and singles of all varieties, just zoom in and make them happy, then vanish without trace. I’m the catalyst for some mighty flammable relationships, I tell you.

  My phone rang in my bag, and Tadgh frowned.

  “I usually ask clients to turn those off,” he said.

  “I’m not a usual client,” I replied, taking the phone out. I frowned at the number, then answered. “Magda?”

  “Yes,” she replied, her voice smooth and Moneypenny cultured. The line should have been dreadful since she was in London and I New York, but I guess the Sundown offices have ways and means of getting around that, too. “Aura, we had a client today I think you should know about.”

  “I’m not doing Sundown work any more,” I told her. “Remember? Not while I’m over here. Give it to Con.”

  “Well, all right, but I really think you’ll want to hear about this.”

  “Why? Someone taken out a hit on me?” It was a joke; I’m not important enough in the Fae Courts for them to employ an assassin. Especially not one of Sundown’s caliber.

  “No. It’s about your friend Ell.”

  I went cold. Someone had taken a hit out on Ell? “What?”

  She sighed. “His mother wants to find him a wife. Wants us to, at least. I told her we’re not a matchmaking agency, but you know the Fae.”

  “Yes,” I said grimly, “I do. But a wife? His --” I glanced up at Tadgh, who was pretending not to listen, and got to my feet. “Wait a sec, Magda. I’ll just take this outside,” I added to Tadgh, who nodded resignedly.

  “Not interrupting, am I?” Magda asked.

  “No, it’s just I was with Tadgh,” I told her once I was out in the corridor, where his secretary couldn’t hear me either. “You know, Ell’s boyfriend?”

  Magda sighed. “Aura,” she said, “I know he’s gay. His mother knows he’s gay. Small deaf animals in the middle of the Sahara desert know he’s gay. That’s the problem.”

  “Why is it a problem? He’s a faery, Magda. We really don’t care about orientation.”

  “I know --”

  “And I’m pretty sure his mother doesn’t care either.”

  “No,” Magda said carefully, “but she does care about the succession of the Seelie throne.”

  I leaned against the wall, looked out at the treetops of Central Park. Succession I knew all about. “Ah,” I said.

  “You know, of course, that since the king and Ell’s two brothers were killed, it’s just been Ell and his sister?”

  “Yeah,” I said, trying to remember the sister’s name. She was a sly creature, even for a faery, and I’d never really liked her too much.

  “Well, it appears that recently she, uh, defected,” Magda said.

  “Defected?”

  “Yes. She’s eloped with an Unseelie prince.”

  I clutched the phone. “She what?”

  “Yes, exactly. Apparently she’s been embraced by the Unseelie Court.”

  Unlike my parents, who were only minor Courtiers. My mother was Seelie, my father Unseelie. They’d been kicked out by both Courts and I’d never been accepted by either.
<
br />   But if Ell’s sister was now married to an Unseelie prince, then even if her mother disinherited her she’d still be the only one of the Seelie children likely to bear a child. And that child would stand to inherit the Seelie throne.

  An Unseelie on the Seelie throne.

  It really didn’t bear thinking about.

  “Aura?” Magda said. “You still there?”

  “Yes,” I said. “I was… thinking. So basically, if the future of the Seelie throne is to be secure, Ell needs a wife. Well, he needs an heir.”

  “The wife part is optional,” Magda said. “Apparently the Queen can tell parentage…”

  Of course she could. “I suppose artificial insemination is out of the question?”

  “You suppose correctly.”

  I slumped against the wall, in a mild state of shock.

  “Aura?”

  “I’ll… I’ll think about it,” I said.

  “The Queen was adamant that this is very important,” Magda said. “Most definitely… adamant.”

  “Yes,” I said flatly. “It is important. Bye, Magda.”

  Tadgh was behind his desk when I went back in, reading some notes. I looked at him hard. Did he know about this? Had Ell shared the news? Did he even know about his sister? I hadn’t asked how long ago she’d eloped.

  He looked up. “A minute of your time, Aura. So kind.”

  “Sorry,” I said, “it was important.”

  “And your sanity isn’t?”

  “Well, there’s not much of it,” I said dispiritedly, sitting back down on the couch.

  “And that’s why I’m here,” Tadgh said. “Listen. You’re a sex faery, right?”

  “Top marks.” I stared dully at my phone.

  “You make other people’s fantasies come true.”

  “Yep.” How the fuck was I going to get Ell a girlfriend? He got all prissy if he saw a girl with too much cleavage. Said the girlie parts were a little nauseating.

  “So, maybe you need to work on your own fantasies. Please yourself.”

  “That’s what vibrators are for,” I said absently.

  “A vibrator doesn’t kiss you,” Tadgh said, coming round to the front of his desk and looking at me. “A vibrator doesn’t cuddle you.”

  I said nothing, still frowning at my phone.

  “Aura,” Tadgh said quietly, reaching out and taking it from me. It looked really tiny in his big hand. Tadgh’s father is a centaur, a massive creature, and Tadgh takes after him. Most of the time he takes human shape, but it’s a damn big shape.

  “Tell me what you want. The first thing that comes to you. What do you want in a lover?”

  I spoke without thinking. “Well, first off, I want him to be two lovers.”

  There was a pause, and my mouth just kept on moving, filling the emptiness.

  “I never get to be with two men -- well, why would they want a woman around? And even if I did, I’d be the one doing all the work. I want to be seduced, not to do the seducing. I want it to be all about me. I don’t want to have to worry about anyone else’s pleasure. Just two men, no waiting. Bang bang.”

  My words echoed in the silence. Tadgh was sitting very still on the edge of his desk, his gaze locked somewhere above my right shoulder. His big hand gripped my tiny, fragile phone. His knuckles were white.

  Aw, crap. Mouth is open, Aura, should be shut.

  “So, Ell needs a wife,” I said desperately to change the subject, and almost immediately wished I hadn’t.

  Tadgh’s eyes focused back on my face. “What?”

  “Er, nothing. How is Ell?”

  “He needs a wife,” Tadgh said.

  Bollocks.

  “Sorry,” I winced. “I shouldn’t have…”

  “How did you know?”

  “Uh.” I nodded at the little phone he still held. “That was Magda. The Seelie Queen asked Sundown to help find him a wife. Because he needs an heir. Because his sister… um.”

  Another silence.

  Tadgh finally moved, blowing out a sigh. “Yeah,” he said shortly. “‘Um. That’s about the size of it.”

  I chewed my lip. “So, do you… uh… have any ideas?”

  “On how to get my extremely gay lover to screw a woman? Nope.”

  “Shit, Tadgh, I’m sorry. Here I am moaning about the quality of sex I’m getting and you have this on your plate. I’m sorry.”

  He wiped his hands over his face. “It’s not your fault.”

  “Well, it’s not yours either. Tadgh, look, if there’s anything I can do… I mean, I’ll help you find someone. There must be someone out there.”

  “A Fae of the High Court. She’s not going to accept a Wildfae heir. And none of the Seelie Court are interested. They all have their own affairs.”

  Silence fell again. For the first time I could remember, I felt really uncomfortable in Tadgh’s presence. I dug my nails into my palms, stared out of the window and listened to the clock tick. Finally, when I couldn’t stand it any more, I opened my mouth to say something -- without actually deciding on what just yet -- but Tadgh got there before me.

  “Aura?”

  I formulated my expression into a caring, attentive, supportive one. “Yes?”

  “Do you really want to help?”

  “Yes,” I said without hesitation.

  Tadgh and Ell really were dear friends of mine, besides which, I and every other faery had a vested interest in the continued Seelie line. The alternative just didn’t bear thinking about. I couldn’t believe the Seelie Court were being so selfish and stupid… but then, they were Fae. Selfish and stupid are the order of the day.

  “And you really want two men?”

  “Uh --” I couldn’t help feeling that I’d missed a chunk of conversation. “Well, yes, but we don’t have to --”

  “Do you mind if one of them is gay?”

  I looked at Tadgh. Then because my brain didn’t work while I was looking at his handsome, intense expression, I let my eyes slide away and stared blindly at the spider plant on the windowsill.

  Then I looked back at him, because the stupid plant wasn’t offering me any help. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I must have missed something. Run that by me again.”

  Tadgh drummed his fingers on the desk. “It’s a lot to ask,” he said. “I know that. Look, forget I --”

  “No,” I interrupted. “No. Who’s the other man? I mean, I’m guessing the gay one is Ell. And if you’re asking if I’ll be his wife --”

  “Not wife, exactly,” Tadgh put in hurriedly. “You don’t need to actually marry him.”

  “Well, bear his child,” I said. “It’s hardly a fleeting fancy.” Faeries lived for a long time. A long, long time. I’d be a parent for a good few millennia. “And I’m not sure… that is, I’d have to think about it.”

  “Sure, sure,” Tadgh said. “Think all you want.”

  I frowned into the middle distance. Sex with Ell was a little too much for my brain to take in right now. Being a parent was a little too much too. So I settled for a nice little side thought instead.

  “If…” My voice sounded distant. “If I do this, then I’d be the mother of the second in line to the Seelie throne.”

  “Yep.”

  “Who would be raised at Court.”

  “Well. Partly. You could probably raise him or her in the mortal realms if you wanted. The Seelie Queen is quite keen on mortal relations.”

  “So I wouldn’t have to go to Court?”

  “Well. I don’t know. Yes, probably, at some point.”

  My heartbeat quickened. “The Seelie Court.”

  “It’d probably be quite difficult to avoid it.” Tadgh was watching me closely. “Aura? You wouldn’t be considering doing this just to get into the Court, would you?”

  Just to get into the Court? “No,” I said. “Of course not.”

  A pause.

  “Although I do rightfully belong there,” I said.

  Tadgh sighed.

  “No,”
I repeated. “Of course not. No. I… look. What does Ell think about this?”

  He shrugged. “I haven’t exactly mentioned it to him.”

  “But you didn’t just come up with it, did you?”

  Faeries can’t lie. We’re great at evading truths, but we can’t outright lie.

  “No,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about it a while.”

  “Getting me to have sex with your boyfriend.”

  “It is what you do.”

  I raised my eyebrows at him, and he scowled.

  “Okay, sorry. Look, do you want to go and get some coffee or something? Go for a walk in the park. I need some nature.”

  I understood that. Tadgh was Wildfae -- at least half of him was -- so his connection to nature was stronger than mine. Even High Court faeries need to feel the earth beneath their feet every now and then. He’d specifically picked out an office that overlooked the park because the sight of the trees was soothing, even if he was unnaturally high up for a Wildfae, who didn’t usually have wings.

  We got coffee and set out into the park which was lush with early summer growth. A few feet across the grass and I took off my pretty Choos: partly to save the delicate fabric and partly because it’s nice to have grass under my toes.

  “I don’t want to pressure you,” Tadgh said as we walked. “It’s just an idea.”

  I blew on my coffee to cool it and said nothing.

  “It’s a big commitment,” he said. “I understand that. You’d be a parent for the rest of your life.” He frowned. “Or not. I mean, you don’t have to be involved. You could have the baby and hand it over…”

  “What kind of person do you think I am?” I said, outraged.

  “Um. Fae,” he said.

  Okay, good point. We’re known for being a little coldhearted. Especially the Unseelie, which is half the blood in my veins. But we’re also known for our obsessive love of children. I’d never abandon a child, mine or anyone else’s.

  “And anyway,” I said. “Supposing I did do this. You said something about two men, but only one of them was gay. That’s Ell, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  I didn’t have a problem with that, objectively speaking at least. Hell, my whole existence has been devoted to having sex with people who’d otherwise be reluctant. “And the other?”