Sundown, Inc: Baby Sham Faery Love Read online

  Ell answered, and I guessed he’d just flashed in. “I hate the Court. It’s all so political and full of bullshit. And my mother is impossible.”

  “Did you find anything out?”

  The mattress tipped as Ell flopped onto it. “Nah. But everyone’s very angry about it. Except the ones that aren’t.”

  “You suspect any of them?”

  “Not really. They’re just the shitstirrers. Mother’s sent some spies over to Unseelie to see if she can find anything out.”

  There was a pause, and I started to drift back under. Then Tadgh said softly, “What about Niamh?”

  Niamh was familiar, but I couldn’t remember where from. I was so tired.

  Ell didn’t reply directly to that. Instead he said, “Tadgh?”

  “Mmm?”

  “There’s a girl in our bed.”

  “Yes. It’s Aura.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s okay, then.”

  I smiled, and drifted off again.

  * * *

  I floated near the surface when Ell and Tadgh got up for work. Okay, that’s a lie. I actually did wake up. But that’s not something I’d ever admit to in front of Ell and Tadgh. They thought I was asleep when they started kissing.

  I didn’t mind, not in the least. After all, I was the one in their bed. But I thought it was sweet of Ell to move away, so as not to wake me up.

  But I was awake, and I heard them go on kissing over by the cashmere rug, and then one of them gasped and moaned quietly. Wet sucking sounds ensued. Someone’s getting a blow-job, I thought, and smiled into the pillow. Then the bedside drawer slid open -- by itself, or rather, I suspected, by Ell’s telekinesis -- and he moaned again.

  I amused myself trying to work out which one was moaning. I figured Tadgh for the strong silent type, but would he be the one sucking off Ell? Or would it be Tadgh’s cock in Ell’s mouth?

  The thought made me wet. Hearing his -- whichever one he was -- moans of pleasure made me wetter. I wanted to see, but at the same time, listening was even hotter.

  Then I heard a voice breathe, “Ell,” and I knew it was Tadgh getting sucked. Oh boy. I wanted to wrap my own lips around that thick cock of his. I wondered if they’d fit? Surely Ell was having to do one of those snake-dislocating-jaw things?

  I thought about the heavy, meaty weight of it in my mouth, the taste, the texture, and I started breathing faster. I wanted to touch myself but I didn’t want to give myself away. They might stop, and I didn’t want that.

  Then Tadgh moaned again, his breathing coming heavy, and the wet sucking stopped. Then there was a lot of panting. A lot.

  I couldn’t bear it any longer. I peeked out through one eyelid, and saw Ell on his knees, his face hidden by Tadgh’s huge cock. His hand was buried between Tadgh’s buttocks, working in the lube he’d magicked from the bedside drawer. Tadgh stood there with his legs apart, his eyes closed and his hands on Ell’s head.

  “In me,” he whispered, “I want you in me.”

  Ell grinned up at him, and then all of a sudden Tadgh was on all fours, his ass in the air, and Ell was sinking his cock into it.

  Both of them groaned. I don’t know how they thought I was still asleep. I closed my eyes again, the image of it imprinted on my brain as wet sliding sounds began, soft moans and heavy panting. Gasps and sighs, making me hotter just to hear them as I pictured them moving together, Ell’s long cock sliding between Tadgh’s beautiful buttocks, Tadgh’s heavy cock pulsing and straining. Ell’s elegant fingers stroking, pulling, smoothing the hard flesh until Tadgh came -- I heard his muffled groan, his gasp -- his ass tightening around Ell’s cock. Ell came too, letting out a quiet shout. Well, not that quiet. You can’t shout quietly.

  I didn’t blame him. Not for shouting, not for fucking. I’d fuck either one of them on a moment’s notice.

  As soon as I heard them both leave the house, I buried my hand between my legs and gave myself a small orgasm, just to round things off.

  Then I fell back asleep again.

  Chapter Six

  I woke up late, rolling over in the huge bed that smelled of big sexy men, and smiled. I still felt pretty lazy, but not exhausted and not sick any more. A quiet day at home was called for, I figured, and with that in mind did very little for several hours. I took a long hot bath, washed my hair in shampoo that reminded me of Tadgh, and got dressed in shorts and a sweater of Ell’s. It wouldn’t have taken much energy to zap my own clothes across town and onto my body, but I was experiencing a mild ‘never again’ feeling, like you get after a night of heavy drinking.

  The deli a few blocks over sent up breakfast for me, and then lunch. The most effort I expended all day was making a pot of coffee and carrying it up to the roof garden to look out over the park with the windows open. The trees lifted my spirits, made me feel a hell of a lot better, and the sun warming my skin soothed away the last traces of my magic hangover.

  By the time the vampire turned up, I was feeling like myself again.

  Someone hammered on the door, and I frowned, confused, because I felt a vampire close by, and yet it was still sunny outside. Something didn’t compute. The terrace didn’t have a view of the front door, so I set down my newspaper and trailed lazily down the stairs to see what was going on.

  I wasn’t scared. I knew so long as I stayed inside I was safe: the vampire couldn’t enter without an invite.

  Downstairs, a shadow was cast over the gleaming hardwood of the lobby floor. The fanlights in the big door were blocked out by whoever was standing on the other side. Someone powerful. Someone old.

  Someone fucking scary.

  I took a breath as the vampire pounded the door again, reminded myself about the invite thing, then went over and opened the door.

  The person standing there was dressed in one of those full-body veils that women wear in strict Arabic countries. Only a mesh panel over the eyes gave him or her any vision of the outside world.

  Which accounted for the sunlight thing.

  “Vampire,” I said.

  “Fae,” said the vampire. A female voice, although a million miles away from the sweet, pretty voices of the Fae. This woman had a low, husky voice, a whisky-and-cigarettes voice, a voice that made certain girlie parts of mine perk up interestedly and remind me I wasn’t one hundred percent straight.

  But she’s a vampire, I reminded them, and they quieted down again.

  “What do you want?”

  “Can I come in?”

  “No.”

  “Oh, come on. It’s fucking roasting out here. And this veil thing is just sadistic.”

  “It suits you.”

  “Look, I’m not here to hurt you,” the vampire said, but something in the way she stressed the ‘you’ gave me pause.

  “Who are you here to hurt?”

  The vampire sighed. “If I tell you Johann sent me, will that make any difference?”

  I frowned. Johann was the Sundown, Inc. boss in London. Why was he sending a vampire here?

  I leaned against the door, thinking about it, and the vampire just walked straight past me, into the house.

  I spun around in amazement. “You can’t do that!”

  “Just did, honey.”

  The vampire pulled off the veil. Underneath it she had straight black hair and gleaming bronze skin that was rather exposed by the supple leather outfit she wore. A cropped top and pants that were open laced at the sides, letting me know she wasn’t wearing a thing beneath them. The leather molded a whipcrack body, hard and toned but for the perfect high breasts revealed by the tiny top.

  My girlie parts started getting interested again.

  But my eyes were drawn to the scars that spattered her face, her neck, her shoulder and her arm. Like someone had thrown boiling oil at her. The skin was pink, puckered, irredeemable.

  By those scars, I knew her.

  “You’re Sundown’s assassin,” I said.

  She smiled, showing fangs. “Masika.”

  Masika was a v
ampire. Of course. God, I’m so stupid.

  “I heard you were looking for me.”

  “You came all the way here because you heard?”

  “No.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. Standing here in my shorts and sweater, I felt very vulnerable, very lightweight, very… Fae.

  Bloody vampires.

  “Johann told you?”

  “Dare told me.”

  “Dare is your…” I looked her over again. Vampires were animals. Nothing more. “Mate?”

  Her lip curled. “Yes,” she said. “He’s also the oldest vampire in the world.”

  “I find that surprising.”

  “Oh?”

  “I thought you looked older.”

  She bared her fangs at me. “Don’t piss me off, Fae,” she said. “Or I might just do what I was paid to.”

  A tremor of fear ran through me. “And that is?”

  “Kill the Seelie prince.”

  I found myself sitting on the bottom step in the lobby, my head between my knees, the vampire patting my back rather ineffectually. “Breathe,” she said, “don’t pass out on me. I don’t want to get the smell of Faerie all over my clothes.”

  I raised my head sharply, fighting dizziness. “I don’t want to smell of vampire.” I said. “You’re the one who’s touching me.”

  She raised her hand, sitting back on her haunches. “You’re welcome.” She ran a hand through her gleaming hair. “No wonder Dare hates Fae.”

  I took a deep breath and sat up straight, regarding her. She sat watching me, like a cat would, her body still but her eyes always moving, never missing anything. I don’t like predators. They make me feel like food.

  “Are you really here to kill Ell?”

  She inclined her head. “That’s what I was paid for.”

  “Paid for? By who?”

  “Unseelie,” she said, glancing around the lobby, then standing up in one effortlessly graceful movement. I hauled myself to my feet by the banister, still feeling weak.

  “Wouldn’t be Eibhlis, would it?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “I dunno. Johann didn’t pass on the details.”

  “Why didn’t Magda tell me?” I meant to ask myself, but clearly my internal monologue wasn’t working.

  “Probably figured it’d become clear when I told you.”

  I squared my shoulders, and tried to look threatening. “I won’t let you do it.”

  Masika burst out laughing. “Little girl,” she said, shaking her head, “I’d like to see you try.”

  “I’m Fae,” I said, irritated. “I have magic. Big, protective magic.”

  “You’re a sex faery,” Masika said. “You have the power to get people off. Unlike you, I actually read employee files.”

  I felt my face heat. “I’m not an employee. I’m a consultant.”

  “Whatever. You couldn’t stop me from killing the Seelie.”

  “I’d damn well try.”

  She cocked her head and regarded me. “Well, then, there might be some hope for you.”

  I frowned, but she didn’t elaborate. Instead, she wandered off into the house, her heels tapping sharply as she strode around like she owned the place.

  Have I mentioned I hate vampires?

  “Pretty nice place,” she said.

  “Nicer than yours.” I couldn’t resist.

  She shrugged. “I’m not into ostentation.”

  “Which explains your outfit.”

  Masika ignored me, loping through the living room to the kitchen. She didn’t venture far in, though, what with all the sunlight flooding in through the skylights. Seelie Fae like lots of light. It’s their element.

  Which made me wonder if reasoning might work with the vampire.

  “You know what Ell represents?” I asked as Masika made her way up the stairs, her butt swinging sexily in front of me.

  “The face of haute couture, last fashion mag I read.”

  I beamed on his behalf, before sobering. “I meant in Fae terms.”

  She ran her hand over the wooden paneling in the upstairs parlor. “He’s the sole Seelie heir. Unless his sister comes back.”

  “They wouldn’t take her,” I said. “It’s too risky. She’s clearly gone over to the dark side.”

  Masika raised an eyebrow. “Literally.”

  So she did know.

  The thing about the Fae is that while we spend our very, very long lives squabbling and bickering over the most trivial matters, we’re actually the most important creatures in the whole universe.

  The Seelie Court doesn’t just represent summer, sunlight and warmth. It is those things.

  “If the Unseelie Court gains control of the Seelie…” I trailed off. The thought really was too horrible.

  “Summer will diminish,” Masika said.

  I made my way over to the sofa and sat down carefully. “No,” I said slowly. “Summer won’t diminish. There are no half measures in the High Courts. It’s a constant power struggle. Absolutely constant. But there has to be a balance of power, because if one side falls, then the other takes over. Rules. Supreme. Last time the Seelie had a weak ruler, Earth went through an ice age that lasted fifty thousand years.”

  “There’s still ice at the polar caps.”

  “And there’s drought at the equator. I didn’t say the balance was nice. But the Earth moves through cycles of summer and winter, warm and cold, light and dark. I know the idea of permanent darkness probably sounds great to a vampire --”

  “Yeah, sunburn is really a bitch.”

  “But if there’s no Seelie Court, there will be no summer, no light, no warmth.” I swallowed, because it was such a hideous concept. “Without sunlight there will be no plant life. The herbivores will starve. The carnivores will starve. The planet will die.”

  Masika was silent a second. “I guess Seelie is the side to root for, then?”

  I shrugged. “If the Seelie Court was in charge then the Earth would just burn up. We’d all fry. Nothing would grow -- and we’re back to the planet dying.”

  “If you know all this, if the Fae all know this, then why do you carry on fighting?”

  I blinked at her.

  “Do you want the Earth to die?” Masika pressed.

  “We are the Earth.”

  “Then -- why fight?”

  Still nonplussed, I said, “Because that’s what we do.”

  She stared at me a second, then sighed. “Right. Of course it is.”

  “It’s just part of who we are.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I hate faeries.”

  “Feeling’s mutual.”

  She sauntered to the sofa opposite me. “So we’re both agreed, killing the Seelie prince would be of the bad.”

  “Yes,” I said gratefully.

  “But you know, he’s going to die one day.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “Merely an observation. And when he does die, there will be no Seelie heir.”

  “He could have children.”

  She gave me a look. “Even I know he’s as gay as they come,” she said. “His mother’s hired Sundown to find a walking womb for him, but I can’t see it happening.”

  “You can’t?”

  “No. Would you shag a gay man?”

  I nearly laughed at that. “Have and would,” I said.

  “Well, I suppose you will shag anything.”

  I didn’t rise to that. I was thinking.

  Masika stood up. “How good are you?” she asked.

  “I can get an orgasm out of a stone,” I said absently.

  She laughed. “No, I mean in terms of defense. If I tried to kill him, could you stop me?”

  I looked her over. She was tall, toned, and had that hard look in her eyes that said she’d kill anything if she was getting paid enough. “Honestly?”

  “Yes.”

  “No. I couldn’t stop you. Especially since it turns out that whole invitation thing is a myth.”

  She raised her eyeb
rows.

  “I didn’t invite you but you still came in.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s because I’m older than Rome,” she said. “There’s not much I can’t do.”

  I stood up glumly. “So I can take down the garlic and holy water?”

  She touched the scars on her face. “Holy water won’t stop me,” she said distantly, but I figured from the scars that it might slow her down.

  “Tadgh might,” I said.

  “Who?”

  “Ell’s lover. He’s part centaur. Big guy. Lots of muscle.”

  She shrugged. “I’m still not very intimidated. But then I’m not the one who’s going to try and kill him.”

  My skin prickled. “Johann’s sending someone else?”

  “No. I’m the best.”

  She said it simply, a statement of fact.

  “But if someone wants your friend dead, then dead he’ll be. My advice is to find out who that person is, and nullify them.”

  “Nullify?”

  She started down the stairs. “That sort of person won’t stop until they’re dead. And even then it’s not guaranteed.”

  After Masika had left, I sat thinking for a while. She was right, much as I hated to admit it. Someone -- probably Eibhlis -- wanted Ell dead, and wasn’t likely to stop until it had happened.

  That meant two things. One, that Ell needed a constant bodyguard, and two, that he really, really needed this heir. Once a child was on the way, it might stop the plotting. No Fae would ever intentionally harm a child, and that by extension made Ell safe, because there’d be no point in killing him if he already had an heir and the Seelie throne was safe.

  Really, he needed several heirs, to be completely safe.

  I flashed myself home and got out my spell books.

  It was turning dark when Tadgh came home and found me cooking up potions in the kitchen.

  “Mmm,” he said, chucking his jacket on the kitchen chair, “something smells disgusting.” He wandered over and dipped his finger in.

  “And yet still you want to taste it,” I said in wonder, shooing him away. “It’s not for you.”

  “Who’s it for?”

  “Ell. Fertility spell. And protection, too.”

  “Protection? We dealt with the goblin menace.”